I'm feeling SO WEIRD!

It is totally time for another blog entry because my life is SOOOO weird right now. The new year started with a bang and then suddenly took a wrong turn. As a student at my ballroom studio I had the opportunity to compete to be a part of the Dancing With The Stars Touring Show in Detroit. My partner and I practiced our asses off for the first round of competition which was held in Northville on Jan. 3. We danced a Cha-Cha and a Swing against about 40 other couples. Of those 40 the judges and audience participation (signature DWTS) selected 10 couples to move on to the finals. My partner and I were selected!!!!!!!!!!!! So a few days later we went to Joe Louis Arena and danced again in front of 20,000ish people in the Pre-Show of the Touring Show. We did not move on to the final round but it was amazing to dance in front of so many people and we got seats on the floor for the entire show. It was the most amazing show I'd ever seen! Anyway- because of the amazing performance experience I developed a whole new attitude toward life. Basically I realized that I was living my life in somewhat of a reserved mode and life was so much more enjoyable when I let my crazy self out all the time and didn't think about what other people were going to think of. For the first time I felt really alive! I found this new way of living that was so much better I felt like I was reborn. Then all of a sudden I started getting self conscious about it and shy. Now I am in the weirdest mood ever and I have been for the past week. I'm hard core self-conscious and afraid of what people are gonna think and how they are going to react. I feel so out of my element all the time now and it fucking sucks. I don't why I feel so strange but it seriously needs to stop soon!! I am not even motivated to dance or workout or anything. I mean I'm still doing things but I just don't have the same passion. Its so screwy. Anyone have any advice?

Longest Travel Day Ever!

Welcome back to my blog! I hope everyone had a relaxing and fun filled holiday! My holiday was sufficiently full of overeating and being lazy and I am now completely convinced that the holidays are a major conspiracy to make people gain weight! Honestly- if you don't overeat during the holidays you are like a misfit of society! Anyway- I'll talk more about my specific holiday events in another entry, for now I want to talk about my day which was THE LONGEST TRAVEL DAY EVER! Ok- so maybe it wasn't the longest but today I spend over 12 hours in an airport or airplane. It all started with a restless last night at Cys house in Minnesota. We got up at 7:45am to catch a taxi to the airport at 8:30. The taxi was late but we still made it to the airport by 9 and Cy made it to his flight to New York City at 10. I, however, had to wait until 12:30 to catch my flight to Chicago Midway. I stared out the window at Cys gate for 2 hours after his plane took off then I made my way over to my gate in another Concourse. I reached my gate only to find that my flight had been delayed by 30min. I got some coffee and then came back to the gate to find it was delayed even more! I finally boarded the plane and we took off at about 1:30pm! I got to Midway STARVING and headed to the food court for some lunch. Midway has the best food court because it has Potbellies and Ben and Jerry's-- both of which I indulged in for lunch. I had a 5 hour lay over in Midway which turned out to be 4 because of the previous delay. I ate lunch, walked around a little, and then settled down in the phone booth/travel area to plug in my computer to watch "Shall We Dance" (the original Japanese version) which Cys mom got me for xmas. It was such a good movie!!! I liked it just as much as the 04 version with jlo and richard gere. I finally boarded my plane to detroit at 6:07. I got in to detroit only to find that my 2 checked bags did not make it to detroit with me!! I waited my the carousel for 20 min and then stood in line at the "Luggage Information Office" for another 30 minutes. They told me my luggage was not there and all I could do was file a delayed luggage claim and give them my home address. Meanwhile my parents were circling the airport for over an hour waiting for me to be done! I finally got done and meet them outside for the ride back to snowy Ann Arbor! Apparently Ann Arbor got 12 inches of snow!!! One of our electrical wires that was mounted to the house got dragged down by the heavy snow and is dangling over the back porch! Its scary looking! Anyway! That was my boring day of airporting in a nutshell. Now I feel like I can let it go and relax and go to bed! I hope I get some sympathy comments for my 12 hour airport day! Hope everyone had better travels then me and did not lose their luggage! Take care everyone and be on the look out for some post-holiday fat blaster podcasts!!!!!!!!!!!

Snow Storm

So today is a perfect day for a blog because it has been such a weird day! Apparently today is Monday but I swear it seems more like a Sunday or a non-day or a holiday. Ann Arbor got a shit load of snow yesterday and that fucked everybody up. My dad ended up not even going on his business trip and my mom skipped UM Dearborn's commencement ceremonies. Anyway, the snow didn't stop me from going out and having a good time. I walked with my dad down to Conor ONeils where I met up with Joe and Roger. Joe and I have been rehearsing for a few weeks on some folk tunes. He plays the banjo and I am singing and playing the tambourine. Its been a fun and relaxed way to get back to singing more regularly and have an opportunity to teach my friend Joe a little bit about music. Only problem is that I think he wants to do it a little more seriously than I do and he's been pushing for a lot of rehearsal time and gigs. The truth is I only want to devote as much time to that as is left over after I exhaust all the dancing I can do in a day. I think he gets that but I'm not quite sure why he is being so pushy. Anyway- we played our set and a few people clapped including my dad! It was cool that he came to hear me sing. He thought I sounded good but wished I had used my body a little more so that I was a "full performer". After the gig I stayed at Conors for quite a while and chatted with Roger and Joe for a while and then with my friends Brandon and Ian (the Conors Sunday Regulars). It was a good time expect that I ended not getting very much sleep at all last night!! So today seemed kind of like a waste of a day because I napped for most of the morning, after watching the Top Chef Holiday Special!!!! It was so good to actually watch a show on TV that I wanted to watch! There has been such nonsense on TV these days! That writers strike needs to resolve like woah. After sleeping the morning away I got up and went to the grocery store and finally got some good fruits and vegetables to eat! The other big happening of the day was that I got my kitties back from their temporary cat sitter! I hadn't seen them since September and its so nice to have them at home again! They are adorable! Kluhia looks like a lady cat now! And Tigger respectively looks like a handsome but large 4 year old cat. I also went to the gym and worked out which felt amazing! I have been eating like shit and not doing as much dancing (because most of the sessions are over) so it felt great to just run and lift weights like a normal exerciser! My dad and I grabbed dinner at Jeruselum Garden and it was tasty! We even got a free baklava! We had an in depth conversation about my New York vs. Dance Instructor job dilemma albeit no decisions have been made yet! Thats all I got! The image is a pine marten that Cyrus saw at one of his winter excursions because he was winter camping this weekend!

Thanksgiving...a little late!

Welcome back to my blog! This entry is going to be dedicated to the details of my beautiful Thanksgiving weekend with Cyrus and his family. I know its a little late for the Turkey entry BUT it is worth it because 1) the weekend was awesome and 2)its been long enough that i miss him a lot and I need to recount the good times with him! So, I spent Wed-Sun with Cyrus, his brother Frank, Frank's girlfriend Ellie, his mom and dad, his grandmother Maudi (spelling?) and her dog Rosie. We were at her country house in Virginia (right at the foothills of the Appalachians! We all flew in to Dulles and I met Cyrus and his gate because my plane got in a few minutes before his. Cyrus came out first and I ran up to him and gave him a big hug and kiss! It was almost surreal because I hadn't been able to touch him in so long and also because my ears were plugged up from the airplane. So after squeezing the 6 of us in to a mini van and driving almost 2 hours we finally arrived at the country house at about 10pm. Cy and I got to stay in the 'guest house' which is a log cabin separate from the main house. The log cabin was plently warm and the bed was comfy (although cyrus thought it was too soft) but it was infested with flies and wasps which was slightly scary at first. Our days consisted of being fed way too much food by Abelle (Maudie's live in servant), sitting around the wood burning stove, and watching movies. On the actual day of Thanksgiving Pat and Dick, two of Maudie's friends, came for Thanksgiving brunch with their live in nurse Corina. I really liked Corina and I wish she could have stayed longer. Later that afternoon, Alicia joined us and she stayed for most of the weekend. Cyrus and I entertained the masses after the meal by sight reading some clarinet duets. On Friday we took a trip in to Culpepper (the closest piece of civilization) which was pretty fun depite the fact that i got carsick on the way there. Saturday we went hiking on "Little Devils Staircase" which was really fun even though it took us forever to find the trail because Maudie was leading and she didnt' have a map. She kept insisting that we stop and ask the mountain people!! Sunday we left for the airport a little late and it turned out being a huge crunch to make it to my flight on time! I got to the gate about 5 minutes before boarding!!!! Over the trip was very relaxing and enjoyable. It was sooooo good to see my baby and to spend some time with his fam who I hadn't seen for over a year. I will be spending New Years with them and I am super excited! Thats about all I've got! The pic is the view from the side porch the the country house! It was beautiful!

I am a dancer

Hello! First, seemingly usual now, I'd like to apologize for the time that had gone by without an entry! I appreciate those of you who do read my blog and I'm sorry I haven't been keeping you guys up to date. My life had been getting busier and more fun and its been hard to find time to blog! I'm even having trouble finding time to call Cyrus these days! I have been very focused on dancing and I am loving every moment of it. My teachers have inspired me more than I can say and I am working so hard. I want to be the best dancer I can be and I am doing everything I possibly can to do so. Every decision I make in my life hinges on whether or not it will make me a better dancer. I think about dancing pretty much every moment of the day. Even silly things like what to eat, what to wear, when to get up, when to go shopping, etc...are based around how they will effect my dancing. Our house currently is emptied of most of our staple foods because in the time I usually go to the grocery store I practiced dancing instead. I practice dancing or workout whenever I am not in actual dance class or eating!! Ok- so I think you guys get the point that I have fallen in love with dancing. But its bigger than that. The truth is, in my life I have always had many passions, clarinet, singing, playing tennis, working out, swimming to name a few, but now, for the first time, I just want one thing, and that is to be a dancer at with a particular company whose name I will not mention. It feels so amazing to pour all my energy toward one goal, and for once not be thinking about other passions. When I dance all the time I feel more like myself all the time. I really identify as a dancer and I want others to as well. I want people to look at me and my body and KNOW immediately, wow- she must be a dancer. Dancing brings me pure joy and when I'm doing I have so much fun, when I'm not doing it I think about doing it. For example last night, I came home about midnight, after grabbing a drink and some dinner with Emily after dancing, completely exhausted but instead of falling asleep I laid in my bed for 2 hours going over my dance lessons in my head and picturing myself moving my body (since my body was too tired really move!). Then once I finally did fall asleep I dreamed about dancing in a beautiful big ballroom in a gorgeous dress and smiling and the audience cheering, and loving the audience. These kind of dreams happen pretty much every night now. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night because I am dancing in my sleep! I think I mentioned that before. Anyways thats pretty much what has been on my mind in the past couple of weeks. I will write another entry soon and talk about some of the fun events that I've attending such Thanksgiving with Cy and his family, Holiday Spotlight Performance, and some upcoming singing gigs! Hope everyone is having a great December!
ps- this pic is from dec 05 but i think it shows my current mood! more recent pictures to come once i get organized!

I dance in my sleep!

Hello everyone! First I want to apologize for how long its been since I have written! I have to say that the reason for my lack of blogging is that I have been having a lot of fun! As I think I mentioned in a previous entry, I have finally started to understand how to practice dancing. I have been practicing a lot at home. All I want to do is dance. I wake up in the morning and can't wait to start dancing, I go to dance class and when i get down I want to practice dancing, and when I go to bed at night I dance in my sleep! Seriously sometimes I will just have to sit up in bed at 3am and say outloud RELAX! I am loving dancing so much I just can't get enough. I am also starting to get really excited about moving to NYC because there is a really good chance that I will be getting a job as a dance teacher. This is the most excited I have ever been about a job oppotunity because it seems like a perfect fit for me! Not only do I want the job more than anything, but I think the job will want me. I am looking forward to solidifying that and I am definitely going to throw some sort of party if I do get the job! In other news- this past week I took a trip to Toronto, ON to audition for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines. I travelled there via car (to Windsor) and train and I stayed with my 2nd cousin, twice removed in downtown Toronto. My cousin took me out to a fabulous dinner and we had great conversation including a mutual understanding of feeling like you are living single when your lover is just a few thosand miles away! (Her fiance lives in Yellow Knife and she is in Toronto) So I spent the night at her house and got up at 7am to travel to the audition in the morning. I took the subway about 5 stops east to Metro Movement Dance Center. When I got there I got a number which I had to fasten to my chest. I was early so I took the time to stretch out in a cramped and intimidating waiting room! I had a great strech though and I was happy because I got my right split and other girls seems to look over at me with jealousy. When the time came we all gathered in the dance studio and learned a short combination (4 counts of 8) that went with Britney Spears song "Slave". The combination was just above my comfort level so I didn't quite have it when it came time to perform. It was really hard to focus because there were so many people and I made the mistake of standing in the back of the room when he was teaching the combination so I coudn't see the first few steps. I'm sure I would have done way better if I had stood in the front and really focused and the steps and didn't think about all the other people around me. Anyway- it was a good time and I had fun dancing even though I didn't have quite enough time to learn the combination well enough to perform it when the time came. i am going to wrap this up but I'd first just like to apologize for those of you who follow my podcast! I have really dropped the ball on my podcast and I hope to get in some really great workouts and episodes after the Thanksgiving break. Have no fear Podfit will return strong after this short hiatus! Also- Podfit is now available on iTunes so you can subscribe to it and have new episodes automatically downloaded in to your iTunes library. Just searh for "Podfit" in the Podcast Directory, or Browse for it under Health and Fitness. More to come on syncing your computer with my podcast after the holiday! Hope everyone is enjoying their life as much as I am! AND- I get to see Cyrus in 56 hours!!!!!!!!
PS- the pic is the black and white version of my headshot! What do you think?

rebirth of the socialite

Hello everyone! I'm sorry it has been so long since I have written! Things have been getting busy and I am happy about it! Just when I was starting to feel really down things started getting better and I finally feel OK being in Ann Arbor for a few more months. Several of the friendships I have been trying to maintain/work on are becoming more meaningful and reliable. My dancing has really begun to take off and I am practicing dancing all the time in my dining room (which I have pseudo-transformed in to a dance studio with several full length mirrors and by moving the dining room table in the corner of the room). Ballroom dancing is taking a big place in my life now as I decided to invest a HUGE amount of money in to the Bronze level. I did it for several reasons but the main one being that, if I complete my Bronze certification now, then when I get to New York I am almost guaranteed a job teaching ballroom dancing at one of the New York locations of my current studio. My studio director talked to the studio director in New York and he is anticipating hiring me come January! So- that is really exciting! In addition, on Friday I got to participate in something called "Medal Ball" at Meadowbrook Country Club in Northville, MI. It was a lovely catered event with food (although not much for vegetarians) and drinks available in a fancy ballroom with cyrstal chandeliers. There was plenty of open dancing and then I also got to perform 2 dances (the Tango and the Cha-Cha-Cha) with my awesome teacher Nick! We had a blast performing in front of nearly 100 people from all the nearby MI branches of the studio. To get in more practice time I also joined the Michigan Ballroom Dance Club for the remainder of the term for only 20 bucks! I took Gina to the the Michigan League for a tango lesson and open dancing last night! We had a great time and she learned to Swing! It was fun to dance in such a huge ballroom which so many different guys...although there was one that tried to monopolize me the entire night. Luckily, I my friend Geoff was there and helped save me from him a few times and eventually ended up walking me to my car at the end of the night. After dancing I got out to Conor's to wind down with a glass of wine and the company of Conor's Sunday regular's Brandon and Ian! Shelly was there also and I met another nice girl named Lauren. They are all (except maybe Ian) involved in "A Mid Summer Night's Dream" with Ann Arbor Civic Theatre which goes up Nov. 15th! I am looking forward to seeing it! Another thing that added to my good spirits is that Michigan beat Michigan State in one of the most exciting games of the season! I watched the game at my uncle's house in Canton and got stuffed with appetizers, tailgate food, and several game day bottled beverages. I am introducing a new feature to my blog that is meant to encourage a more interactive use of blogger and it is called "What's on My Mind?" Each entry will include a question fo discussion starter derived from something I have been milling over in my head. Then- you all can think about it too and respond by posting comments at the end of the entry. So- the first question is: What time do you get up, on average and how many hours do you sleep? So I want to know about your schedules- as mine has been late to bed late to rise and its not working out so great for me. So with that, I am out. Stay warm in this brisk fall-y weather!